All couples have to deal with conflict at some point in their relationship, but it turns out, ignoring it could make them happier. A recent study from the University of Tennessee finds that couples who gloss over big issues and focus on solving small, day-to-day problems tend to be happier.
The research was based on surveys and interviews with couples who described themselves as happily married. After reviewing their communication styles, conflicts they face, and how they tackle problems together, researchers found the marriages were stronger and the people in them were happier when they put their energy into dealing with minor issues they could fix and ignoring the big ones they would never agree on.
Study author Amy Rauer explains that focusing on the more difficult to solve problems could undermine partners’ confidence in their relationship, but working on fixing little issues helps build up a sense of trust and security. So the small victories that come from working out conflicts like dividing chores make couples feel like they’re on the same team and that boosts their happiness in the relationship overall.